The Desert

So there's this quote, "life is not measure by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Today (actually a couple days ago but today sounds better and makes it seem like i'm on top of things) I had one such moment. I was driving, on I-15 between Barstow and Victorville. For those of you who are not familiar with these two places they are smack dab in the middle of the desert, only miles away from Death Valley a place with the hottest recorded temperature in North America. It's also a few minutes away from Fort Irwin where soldiers come to train because the weather conditions here are more severe than they will be in Iraq and Afghanistan. The only reason someone would venture onto this part of I-15 is to get from Los Angeles to Vegas or vice verse. So needless to say there isn't much to see. But today I allowed myself to just drive and take in the sites around me. And for the first time I noticed the beauty and uniqueness of the desert.
Let me start off my saying, I'm not a desert person. I like the beach, the rainforest, cities, most other landscapes, but when people say the desert is beautiful I fail to make the connection between dry, heat, sandy, cacti, and beautiful. These things do not seem synonymous to me. But today for the first time I finally understood. There is something truly magnificent about seeing the desert surround you for miles and miles on all sides. It's a place that is unlike any other. The animals and plants that are able to survive in these places are truly a symbol of the miraculous, a sign to those that lack faith (me among them) that there must be a creative, magnificent God that commanded this all into being. The desert is a place that even Bear Grylls has a difficult time making it out of alive. Most of us could not survive longer than a couple days in the heat and would die of dehydration. But it's also a place that embodies peace. It's quiet and soothing and the night sky is filled with stars and a gentle breeze. How could both power and peace coexist? But they do. When I finally realized the awesomeness of the desert my breath was truly taken away and it's something that will forever remind me of the awesomeness of our Creator.

Reflections on a year gone by

So i've decided to start blogging again because my life has taken a pretty dramatic twist in the past month or so. Hopefully I can update with little anecdotes more often. So I left Korea a little over a month again. My last couple of months there were amazing. Some of the most fun I've had in a long time. Built some relationships, grew spiritually, and met all kinds of crazy kids. It's a time I won't soon forget. It's weird, sometimes I miss it. I guess I knew I would but not this soon. Of course I miss the people there but I just miss Korea in general. I miss the little things that we view as idiosyncrasies but are completely normal to Koreans, like grown men carrying purses or girls hiking mountains in their heels. I also miss how everything was open so late or all night, oh the convenience of it all. But I know in my heart of hearts that it was time to move on. I had stopped caring about my job and by default the kids whose life I was supposed to change and affect. It just got too messy and bureacratic and I became to jaded and cynical, feelings that come all to easily and quickly for me. I tried to fight them and for the better part of a year I had, but there comes a point where you realize that it's not going to get better and so you either get out or you become bitter. I've been bitter and it's not a me I particularly enjoy. So while I may go back to Korea at some point in the future it will be to do something I really believe in and not something that perpetuates norms that I don't agree with. Nor will I ever again work only for the money, because I personally can't live like that for too long. I know I'm making my time in Korea sound less than great, but it wasn't. It was more or less what I wanted. I learned a lot, had a great experience living in a different country and culture, met some awesome people, and saved money. But my time in Korea was a lot like the culture itself, full of dicotomies. My feelings and experiences are both bitter and sweet, both full or memorable moments and moments I wish I could forget, learning and reverting to old habits, spiritual growth and backslides, confusion and clarity, the straight and narrow up against the wide and undefined. But these mixtures are not unqiue to an experience in a far off land, they're all apart of life. They're complex mixutres that I had before Korea and ones I have no doubt will define the rest of my life. This past year taught me so many things that I'm reminded of everyday and some things I may not realize for years to come, with a splattering of things in the middle. Some of these things I may have learned staying here, but others I had to go to another country to fully realize. My life in Korea was far from comfortable or simple but it was exactly what God chose to teach me and grow me. It's amazing how once we surrender to God and his plans our own expectations and desires transform and that's what happened in Korea. He chose to take a less than ideal situation and use it for His glory and my betterment. So as I move on to beautiful Barstow, California, another place that is full of its own little idiosyncracies, I will cling to the things I learned in Korea and the realization that with God I can go and do anything. Nothing is too big or small for Him and in return me because I am filled with His spirit. So from one obscure "adventure" to the next...here we go.