The Power of Prayer

So I'm reading this book. It's called Prayer by Phillip Yancey. Awesome book, changing my life, at least I hope it will change my life beyond the last page. Obviously the book is all about prayer. It's about how to pray, why to pray, what to pray about, and a plethora of other questions surrounding prayer. Prayer has always been an elusive part of my christian walk. It seems like for most of my life, while i can be doing things right and living according to what i believe is God's plan prayer doesn't often play a significant role. Weird right, because if i was truly doing everything right prayer would be at the forefront of what was spurring me on to follow the path set before me. But for me prayer has always seemed like a glorified way of talking to myself. I was never more aware of God's invisibility than when I was in prayer. He always seemed so far away and distant and busy with you know solving the problem of hunger and disease and war, why should he care about the fight I had with my mom or my inability to pick a career? But this book is giving me a whole different perspective, it's helping me see that because God is so infinite and so great beyond what we could ever imagine, he has a the ability to meet us exactly where we're at. He is able to care and listen to everyone of our sorrows, our joys, our anxieties simply because he's omniscient. How amazing is that, because of God's seemingly elusiveness he hears every cry and sees every tear. It's not elusiveness it's greatness, it's powerfulness. It's because I can't understand God that I get frustrated with him. I want things to happen on my terms, on my timetable and when that doesn't happen I blame it on an absent God. I realize this just brings to the surface my selfishness, but it's because of that self-involvement that I need God's grace and I need his hand in my life, because I so easily give into fleshly desires and fall prey to the human condition.

Secondly, I was always of the persuasion that because God knows everything that's going to happen, then prayer inevitably does nothing to change his mind but changes the prayer. While there is merit to this belief, it's only half true. I do believe pray changes the person, it develops perseverance, discipline, a quiet spirit and a multitude of other admirable attributes, not to mention it opens the gates of communication with a loving, righteous, just God. But is it idealistic to say that prayer does more than that? If you look throughout the Bible prayer does have the ability to change things. Moses prayed for God not destroy his people even after God had promised to do so and Moses was able to change the mind of God. The people of Ninevah prayed for repentance and God granted it to them even after he vowed to destroy to it. Once again how incredible is that? We have the ability through faith and petition to change the heart and mind of God, God the creator, God the redeemer, God the ever present help in time of need, we can change that very same God. God desires so much to have a relationship with us that he allows us to communicate, even argue with him and he allows his heart to be changed because of our faith.

This leads me to our last point. Our relationship with God. It's an actual real relationship, that takes work and time and involves frustration and fighting and making up. God, though he is powerful enough to control this entire universe with a word, he chooses not to. He allows us, in all our flawed, screwed up, evil tendencies to partner with him. Yes prayer works to bring about change and justice and all that good stuff, but it in no way cancels out our responsibility to work towards those ends. God desires that we do his work to bring about his kingdom and not simply sit up in our ivory towers praying for change. He gives us the means and abilities and talents to love mercy, seek justice. God allows us to walk with him hand in hand as we fumble and attempt to see his kingdom realized on this earth.

So for the time being I will pray fervently, with faith that my prayers will be answered, and rest in his assurance if the answer is no and I will walk with God in this world as we attempt to show all people his love and mercy.

New Year, New Goals

So since it's the new year, i feel like i should write about resolutions and things that will be different in 2010. First off, I want to say that i don't believe in new years resolutions. I don't see the point in waiting until a specific day to start living or doing things differently. I think if you really want to change and improve then you should start the moment you realize the err of your ways. New Years resolutions are for lazy people who just want an excuse to put things off. Also, they hardly ever work, like 90% of the people who make new years resolutions quit or fail before January is over.
With that said, I'm going to tell you about my counter to new years resolutions. I don't have resolutions, I have goals. Things I hope to accomplish in 2010. While to you it may be semantics, to me they are things that I believe will make 2010 unique and full of doing and less about making excuses.
So my first and what should be my most important goal, yet I've done nothing to realize it is to SEEK GOD, to develop my relationship with him and for Him to be my priority in everything I do. I plan on doing this by getting involved in church, starting some kind of devotional and hopefully out of those things I will develop a thirst for prayer and conversation with him.
My next goal is to find my passion. This is about a career, I need to find an occupation that i enjoy and that also pays the bills. So I'm attempting to discern God's will, while actively researching potential career paths. This has actually been kind of fun and I feel like I've made some progress, but i'll let you know in a couple of months.
My third goal is to train for a 1/2 marathon. This is a lofty goal for me. I hate to run and working out isn't exactly fun for me. But if i can run a simple 1/2 marathon if will prove to myself that I can finish and follow through on something and it will test my willpower, hopefully making me a better, less flaky person.
The next thing I hope to accomplish in 2010 is to build and deepen new and existing relationships, because I don't really have a stable place where I can call home, this one is difficult for me. It's hard being a good friend to someone when you thousands of miles apart. Also, because of the location I'm at now, finding people my age who are normal is a little more challenging. But I'm not one to shy away from a challenge so I will make more of an effort this year to be a better friend and to reach out to the people about me.
My last goal is to learn a musical instrument. This is something i have wanted to do for awhile. So i'm tired of making excuses and I'm just going to do it. I think i'll start by relearing the piano. I don't have to buy one because my parents have one, so I'll just practice when i'm home.
So that's about it for now. Check with me in a couple of months and see if I've accomplished or in the process of accomplishing any of these. I hope this year will be different and more successful than years past. I'm going to make a conscious effort not to give up and to work at becoming a better, more committed me.